Distance and The One

I am so happy to say I am in a loving, supportive, and committed relationship with my boyfriend. I love Greg with all my heart and I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

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I mean just look at that cute little face!

It may surprise some of you to hear then that when I made my move to DC a few months ago, I moved further away from Greg and not closer. I am 24 years old and many of my peers are moving closer to their significant others, moving in with them, and even getting engaged and married. I certainly feel like I’m going against the norm by increasing the distance in my relationship.

Moving to DC was a personal decision. It was an independent decision. It might have even been a bit of a selfish decision. But it was all my own. I knew I needed a change in my life. I knew this was the time to make it happen. And I knew I wanted to be in Washington, DC. Even if that meant I was further from Greg.

Leading up to my move and even since settling down here I’ve questioned this decision more than a few times. Was I sabotaging my relationship? Was I being too selfish? Should I be on the marriage track? Should I have stayed in Philly/Delaware to be with the man I love?

Those questions certainly haunted me, but ultimately I know this is the best thing for me. For the first time in my life I have the self-confidence to blaze my own path. For the first 20 or so years of my existence I questioned every move I made. I was shy, scared, and frozen by the possibility of failure. But in the last 3 to 4 years I have grown so much and learned truly what I am capable of. I had this dream and this goal of moving to a city I loved in order to continue to expand my sense of self. I had to allow myself that opportunity and could not let myself stay stagnant, even if staying stagnant meant being with the man I love.

The most amazing thing about all of this is Greg. His ability to support me and lift me up even when I doubted myself. Of course he had his fears, his worries, his doubts, but never once did he tell me “don’t go.” Never once did he say my move would spell the end for us. We have stayed just as committed, if not more committed, to each other and this relationship than ever before.

It is my firm belief that, especially when you are young, you need to have some independence in your romantic relationships. If that person you are dating is truly The One, they should be able to support you in your endeavors. When you believe in a mission with your whole heart, mind, and being, The One will support you in that mission no matter what, even if that means you two will be further apart. If you want to go to Africa, or move to Seattle, or work on a farm, The One will say, okay we can make this work. If your significant other responds to your dreams with don’t go (or more than that, I refuse for you to go), then maybe you should reconsider if they are The One.

Because my One let my find my own path and it only makes me love him more.

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3 thoughts on “Distance and The One

  1. This is such a beautiful post! It warms my heart to hear that you’re in such a safe, loving, committed, and mature relationship. I completely agree with you. When I went on my semester abroad, my boyfriend was nothing but the picture of support. He was excited for me and proud of me from the very begging to the very end. Greg sounds amazing! It’s so wonderful to hear about an independent, confident young woman going out there to get what she wants!

    The What’s In Between

  2. You go girl! I feel like our 20s are about finding ourselves…when we are at our full potential is when we can really give ourselves to others. I always think of the quote: “The one who matters won’t mind and the ones who mind don’t matter”

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