Finding the In Between

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am not the only one to call up my girlfriends when I’m looking for a little advice or guidance. That’s what friends are for! Whether it is roommate issues, job problems, relationship hiccups, anything, my girlfriends are there for me to give advice and perspective.

underneath the wavessource

On the flipside, there are those times when my friends give me advice that I completely disagree with. I think “they’re not in my shoes, they don’t know what this is really like so they can’t give me the advice I truly need.” And this can go both ways where I give a friend some advice (very sound advice in my opinion) and they tell me I can’t understand until I am put in their position.

So where is the truth? Is it my friend following her heart and careening into what could be another disastrous relationship? Is it me taking a job I wasn’t fully comfortable with on the encouragement from the people around me? Who is right?

As with most things, advice lies in the balance. A friend can give the most excellent advice in the world, but it is true, she cannot empathize with you unless she’s been in your situation. And even if she has been in a situation similar to your own, you are two completely different people. You will react differently. You will have different emotions. You will make different decisions. Only you will truly know what your heart and mind are telling you.

Sometimes though your heart and mind are clouded. Your emotions are running so high you can’t think straight. You make decisions that are bad for you because at the time they just feel so right. You move across the country to live with a guy even though your friends warn you he seems too controlling. They say hindsight is 20/20. And being on the outside looking in often gives a person more clarity than someone who is in the thick of it all. A friend can see how you’ve changed since being in a relationship more than you can see yourself.

So when it comes to advice, especially for the big changes or moments in your life, you need to weight it all very carefully. Take what your loved ones say to heart, but also know your heart. Know yourself and know what will make you happy in the long run. Be smart, be thoughtful and be open to possibilities.

In the end, no one knows the future. No one will be able to tell you the exact outcome of your decisions. Just know when you make a decision and it doesn’t work out you are strong enough in yourself to pick yourself back up and keep moving forward.

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